H a r t T h r o b . c o m

Society and men in general have perpetuated this myth that if you drive expensive cars and have a lot of wealth then you are by definition great with women.  The end result is the belief that women are inherently attracted to money and power.  I’m here to tell you that all of that is complete and utter crap.  You really want to know what women are attracted to?  Read on.

Debunking the Myth

It’s actually easy to see how this myth that girls are attracted to a man because of his money, as many wealthy guys out there are pretty decent with women.  But this is not how to get a girlfriend or how to impress a girl.  Okay so what do girls like in a man? Surely you see guys who are dirt poor with beautiful women every day.  Well if you ask women what qualities they like in a man, most will list things such as confidence, sense of humor, and ambition.  There is one common thread with guys who have money and who just happen to be a ladies man.  Money tends to breed confidence in a man.  A man who has money walks around the world as if he owns it, he walks with his head held high, and he doesn’t care what others think of him.  You see it’s not the money that women typically like, although there are exceptions.  It’s the characteristics and qualities that tend to be in alignment with having wealth.  The thing is, you can still have confidence and drive to be great without having any money whatsoever.

So What is Confidence?

So if guys have one question it’s usually have how to attract women.  If you ask a woman what she’s attracted to and she says “confidence”, that doesn’t really tell us much.  If you ask her what she means by confidence, she will most likely shrug her shoulders because she doesn’t know.  This is normal.  The funny thing is, women really don’t know what confidence is, but they sure as hell know what it looks like and what it feels like.  It’s not a tangible thing like money.  It’s more a feeling and a belief in yourself that you are great.  We’ve all had those moments where we didn’t have a care in the world, we spoke our mind, and we felt like we could do anything we wanted (and possibly did).  That’s what confidence is, and that is very attractive in a woman’s eyes.

How do you Build Confidence?

This is the age old question, and it’s a cornerstone quality for a man.  None of us are born with confidence and the knowledge of how to attract women, it is acquired either through parenting, mentors, friends, or any number of life circumstances.  While attracting women is a natural instinct of men, it still must be built from a foundation.  For those that are lacking in confidence, there are a few things you can do to start building it.  First is start working out at the gym.  Exercising and working out is a sure way to get a confidence boost, as your body releases endorphins in your body and literally gives you a natural high.  Remember confidence is a feeling, the more you feel good about yourself the more confident you will be.  Start holding your head up and stop looking at the ground.  There’s nothing attractive about the ground.  Holding your head up strong will automatically give you a more confident aura not only to yourself, but to others around you.  Look people in their eyes when speaking to them.  Strong eye contact is a key factor to displaying that you are sure of yourself.  Start speaking your mind, and do it with a strong tone.  I don’t mean speak in an aggressive or confrontational manner, I mean just simply speak with more conviction rather than using a meek and questioning tone that makes you sound unsure of yourself.

Some of these things may be difficult for guys to do right away if they have low confidence.  But it’s simply a path to follow.  Take baby steps, and keep progressing every day.  If you can do these little things, then you won’t be questioning yourself and asking how to attract women or how to get a girlfriend, because naturally becoming confident eliminates those questions and any self doubt that you may have.  So get out there and start becoming the man you were born to be, and who knows, confidence does breed wealth and opportunity, you may find money and happiness on your journey.

Let’s face it, there is an entire generation of very bright guys out there who are just clueless with women. In the age of advancing technology, lots of guys get into a lot of high tech professions such as engineering, or programming. It’s just something that is wired into us, we as guys like gadgets and building things. When it comes to being social however, these guys are at a huge disadvantage, because a lot of the time their jobs don’t involve interacting with people, and women in particular. So when guys go out into the real world (if they even do go out) they are handicapped socially.

Where to Begin

Let’s start with the basics. It’s always good to go back to the basics every now and then in order to keep your foundation fresh. If you’re a homebody, then you’re going to have to do something that may be a bit uncomfortable for you, you’re going to have to step outside of your house. Going out is the first step to becoming great with women, and if you want to know how to flirt with a girl, you’re not going to do it from the comfort of your couch. Start going to the gym, start going to the mall, start being more active and social. Join a club, join a sports team, it doesn’t matter what you do, just do something! As long as you’re interacting with other people.

Small Talk is a Good Thing

I know there are guys out there who absolutely abhor small talk. These guys are generally very smart guys and consider small talk a waste of breath. They would rather talk philosophy or about the latest technology trend. Well guess what? If you want to learn how to be great with women, you’re going to have to learn to like small talk, because that’s how every interaction with a stranger begins. You aren’t going to walk up to a random girl (or guy for that matter) and start a deep conversation on philosophy. You want to keep things very basic with someone you first meet, and especially with women. You want to be light and playful. Talk about the weather, talk about the circumstances around you, talk about a piece of clothing she’s wearing. One of the best ways to become more social is to go to the mall. The people at the mall are paid to talk to you, so that’s one of the easiest ways to start a conversation. Just talk about what their selling and how their day is going etc. You’re not obligated to buy anything from them, so don’t fall into the trap of “if I buy something from her she will like me more”. Just a handy tip that might save you some money.

The Art of Flirtation

Okay so you want to know how to flirt with a girl you like? Now that you’re hopefully going out and being social, it’s time to take it to the next level. Flirting is all about being playful and fun. Making fun of someone with a smile on your face so they know you’re joking around with them. If you are a super serious guy then watch the movie Hitch, and other popular romantic comedies out there to get a visual idea of how flirting works. One big key to flirting is to flirt with everybody, male and female, young and old. The reason for this is it gets you in the habit of being a flirt so that when you finally meet that girl you like, flirting with her will be second nature to you.

There is much more to discuss on the topic of flirting and attraction with women in general, but this is a good basic guide for those guys who are trying to improve themselves in this area of their lives. I speak from experience, because I used to be one of those “computer geeks” and I had an awakening several years ago to master this area of my life. Take it from a guy who has been there, it is possible to become great with women, no matter how shy you think you may be.

It’s a sad truth that many guys out there are completely clueless when it comes to women and dating in general. Most of what we as guys learn from is our parents and the media, the problem with that is both of those sources tend to be clueless as well. There are some guys out there who are great with women, but they, by and large, don’t know what their doing, or at least how to explain it to other guys. They just do it. So you want to impress girls? Lets start at the top.  Stop trying to impress them!

The Problem With Trying to Impress

Sounds a little counter productive doesn’t it? Not really. You see the problem is that you are trying to hard, or you are trying to portray yourself and someone you’re not, and believe me, women can see right through that. If you are trying to impress, it generally means you are trying to get something out of someone else. It is a very outcome oriented way of thinking, and when you are outcome oriented you are only setting yourself up for disappointment and failure.

So What Do I Do?

The first thing you need to do if you want to know how to impress a girl is you need to figure what you want. I will talk more about figuring out what you want in another article, but for our purposes here you basically need to get your head on straight and find out what things you are passionate about. Women are turned on by passion in a man, they want him to take the lead, to have goals and aspirations. No they don’t have to be rich and drive fancy cars. Take a look around and you will see tons of beautiful women with average looking guys that make an average salary, and drive an average car. They are literally everywhere! It’s not the money that attracts women, it’s the desire, and the drive to make money that they admire. Find a passion, find your muse, get excited about it. When you’re interacting with a girl, show her that excitement and she will get excited with you and she will want you more because of it.

But What if I Don’t Have a Passion?

When guys ask this question there really is only one simple answer. Find one. Chances are you actually do have a passion, you just aren’t clear or aware of what it is. Maybe you haven’t even experienced it yet. Guess what that means? It’s time to start changing your lifestyle and start trying out new things. Maybe you have never been snowboarding or never played a guitar before. There’s an old saying: “You never know until you try”. It’s true, you have to experience new things in order to figure out if you like them or not. Who knows, you may be a complete natural when it comes to playing music!

It doesn’t matter where you are in life, whether you are trying to figure out how to impress a girl at school or at work, or on the subway, it all works the same way. It’s a universal concept that applies to any age, culture, or background. Stop trying to impress her. When you start living for yourself and pursuing your passions, she will naturally love you for it.

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